Where are you God

"I pray and I pray and I cannot feel your presence, I seek your guidance and I cannot see you for the stress. I look for you in the small things and big, but too often you are clouded by the tensions in my life. Where are you God? Where is your love and grace? Where is the peace that comes with understanding? My mind tells me that you are here, but I cannot feel you. My mind tells me you never leave me, but I feel so alone. My mind tells me that you never forsake your children, but I feel isolated. My mind tells me that your grace is sufficient but my life is in such turmoil that I cannot find solace. Where are you God? Where is the understanding? Where is the solace? Where are the moments of understanding and assurance?

When it feels as if the enemy is right at my door, I can't find the strength to overcome. When the pressures of this life are overwhelming, I should find you in the midst of it, but I feel abandonded. My heart tells me that you love me, and I belive you do, but my life tells me that it is hard and frustrating and it appears that there is no end in sight. It feels like everything I touch turns out wrong, that everything I try to do for good, ends up a mess. I seek you for assistance in the decisions for my life and I still make poor choices. I seek you for assurance and I feel alone. I seek you for peace and I live in turmoil. My inner sanctity is a wreck, and my family is suffering, my family is huting because of me. I need you to show me yourself, I need for you to make a bold stance so that I will know you are here. I need you to show me your love, and your presence in my life.

Help me to make good decisions. Help me to make good choices, help me to be the person you want for me, help me to feel you here, to know you are here, to know you have not abandonded me. Help me to know you - again."